Jashammy Tales
by DinyVonTessa
Summary: All the head-canons and oneshots about Jashammy. Read on. (Some suggestive stuff such as: 3 person dating, drunks, poop jokes, and such.) Request for more. From Dave to Duncan, everybody will be in here. Not really but credit to Hoodie Goddess. Canon/non-canon couples: Noco, Jock, Dashawn, Courn, Scax, and many more I can makeup. TOTAL DRAMA COUPLES I LIED ABOUT!
1. Chapter 1

1:

"No Sammy. No way!" Shawn said to his girlfriend. Jasmine was reading the paper, feet on the table, amused by her boy/girlfriends argument.

"But c'mon. He's a cute little guy!" Sammy says as she held up the little pug.

"But he'll be Zombie food!" Shawn stated back, and grabbed a cold pizza from the fridge.

Sammy sighed and put the dog down. She stuck out her lips and cried. Her makeup began to run.

"Jasmine, help me please! Make her stop!" Shawn cried out to his Aussie gal.

Jasmine sighed and comforted Sammy. Knowing that he lost the battle and made his Princesses cry, he picked up the dog and hand him to her.

"Fine we can keep him." He muttered as the girls jumped and cheered. The kitchen started to shake due to Jasmines height.

"AHHHH THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!" Shawn quickly threw the girls (and pug) over his shoulder and ran out the house.

"You're an idiot Shawn." Jasmine smacked the boy upside his head

2:

**The Trouble with Dave**

"SKYYYY I LOVE YOUUUU!" Dave cries onto Shawn, who is unpleased that his favorite shirt (Sammy brought him) is getting tears on it.

"Maybe it's time to move on ya know? Find somebody else?" Shawn spoke to his friend.

Dave cried harder and put Shawn in a hug-hold. Tired of Dave's shit, he had an idea.

"Ya know, you could always join us." Shawn whispered in Dave's ear, his breathe faintly going over the tip of his earlobe.

"ARRRGHHH!" Dave yelled wide eyed and ran from the boy. Behind a plant, Sky appeared and hugged Shawn.

"Thanks again Shawn. That was too funny." Sky laughed.

"No problem. He ruined Sammy's shirt for me! And plus he was kinda creepy." Shawn said letting go of her. She began to walk away.

"But Sky?" He yelled at her. She turned around.

"Yes Shawn?"

"You could always join us too." Shawn licked his lips and rubbed his hands.

"Ahahaha aw no thanks. You guys are cool but…. That's a bit much. Oh and good luck Shawn. Hi guys!" Sky waved to the girls behind Shawn and giggled away.

He turned around to see an angry blonde and Aussie.

"Wait! I didn't mean it! You two are the only things I love!" Shawn pleaded as they grabbed him by the legs.

"SKY HELP ME COME BACK PLEASE! SOMEBODY HELP! SOS!" He screamed.

3:

Sky Topher and Dave are the best men and woman at Jasmine Sammy and Shawn's wedding

Sugar would be cry along with Max

Amy would be seething and crying too

Oh and Duncan Gwen Geoff DJ Brick and Jo would be laughing and crying

Chef will sing

And Noah will be the drunken uncle yelling stuff like "You go dude!" While Cody tries to stop him

4:

Shawn sleeps on the left side of the bed so the zombies won't get Sammy since Jasmine is tall and can defend herself

Sammy sleeps in the middle and snuggles to both of them

Jasmine sleeps on the right and curls her legs around the bed

5:

Shawn and Jasmine cheer Sammy on when she is cheerleading

"That's my gal!"

"Go Princess; cheer like the zombie herd is coming toward you!"

Everyone on the stands looked at the two, mostly Shawn while Jasmine sighed and face palmed

Sammy smiled, knowing that she had somebody cheer her on the games

6:

Shawn Sammy and Jasmine were all sleeping peacefully in their bed until Shawn woke up in a cold sweat, wide-eyed….

"Amy is gonna be my sister-in-law!" Shawn whispered to himself. This was worse than any zombie attack.

"Huh, what did you say Shawn?" Sammy asked groggily sitting up, yawning.

Shawn put his arm around her shoulder and playfully ruffled her hair and kisses her nose.

"Nothing Princess, now go back to sleep." She smiled at him and went back to sleep. Sighing, he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes…

"Shawn I heard what you said, and I'm not looking forward to this either." Jasmine spoke sleepily and rolled over to the edge.

Well at least they don't have to come on holidays.

7:

When Jasmine gets drunk she is a sobbing mess and an angry drunk.

When Shawn drinks he tends to hit on Dave a lot. Sky sit backs and laughs while Sammy tries to comfort a drunken Jasmine.

Sammy doesn't drink at all

8:

"I think that's weird how they all date each other. I mean the germs on their lips and hands? Ewwww." Dave told Sky who was stretching her arms behind her head.

"I think it's cute!" Sky beamed, halting her stretches.

"Oh yeah same here! It's not weird at all!" Dave said, agreeing on every word she said.

She rolled her eyes and continued to stretches.

Until

"AUGH I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU FREAKS!" Amy roared as paint dripped off of her, chasing Shawn, Cody, Tyler, Noah and Duncan.

"So worth it!" Shawn and Cody high-fived each other as they ran.

Duncan laugh and grabbed Noah as he was running slowly ("Put me down, OH RUN RUN RUN SHES COMING!").

Dave and Sky watched the madness until another screamed was heard

"MY HAIR, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!" Topher cried out. His hair was cut and colored green.

He chased after Sammy and Jasmine (Sammy was on her back).

"Why did I sign up for this show?" Dave asked out loud. Sky put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

5 hours later

Sammy was tending to Shawn's black eye and mouth. Jasmine was wrapping Duncan's bandage.

"That was worth it!" Shawn cheered, and then cringe because of his lip. Jasmine kissed his lip and finished Duncan.

"Wait my lip hurts too!" Duncan said, sticking his lips out. Sammy kissed his check.

"Kid you have the best life, don't ruin it." Duncan hopped of the table and left out the door.

As the girls were cleaning up, he couldn't help to stare.

"Yeah I'm the luckiest guy."

9:

"SHAWN DON'T KISS DAVE!" Sammy yelled after her boyfriend who was drunk.

Jasmine was nursing a beer and crying on Sky rambling about Shawn not loving her and leaving her and Sammy

She heard a laugh. That sounded like her sisters.

"Ahahaha! Wow, oh my gag! Nice loser you have Samey!" Amy taught her younger twin.

"Did you give them beer?!" Sammy yelled at her sister.

"Sure did. You're not gonna do anything about it!"

Punch.

Amy was on the ground before she could smirk.

Sammy grabbed her lovers and stomped through the door.

They are NEVER going to a party hosted by Topher.

10:

"So Samey, wanna go out?" Topher asked her cockily.

"It's Sammy. Sam-me." Sammy sighed.

"Yeah whatever but anyway, I'm thinking we could be the new it couple." He said making his fingers like a camera around them.

"But-" Sammy tried to explain to the boy.

"She already taken."

"By us!"

Shawn and Jasmine appeared and glared at the Chris-wannabe.

"Hey guys you're kinda ruining are date." Topher stared at the two. Sammy sighed and stood behind Shawn.

Jasmine grabbed Topher and beat the crap outta him.

"YEAH GO JAS! NOBODY TAKES OUR BABY!" Shawn cheered his girlfriend.

"AWWW NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE!" Topher screamed.

"THAT'S MY LINE!" Justin appeared and beat the crap out of him too

11:

Shawn: Mom, Dad, these are my girlfriends, Jasmine and Sammy

Shawn's mom drops the meatloaf, Shawn's dad has his mouth open wide, and Shawn's brothers are equally shocked.

Not only he has a girlfriend, but two, a tall Australian and a short cheerleader.

Sammy hides behind Jasmine while Shawn face palms and says "I knew this was gonna happen."

Shawn's dad speaks up "Guess we should order pizza then?"

12:

While Jasmine is at work (a zookeeper/owner) Shawn teaches Sammy how to bake and Sammy takes him to the mall.

When Jasmine gets home, she is greeted with good food and new clothes while her boy/girlfriends do yoga (because it calms Shawn down).

13:

Amy gets upset that Sammy is hanging out with Jasmine and Shawn because she can't boss her around anymore and Jasmine is protecting her


	2. Chapter 2

(Headcanons aren't all mine. Blackestjay on Tumblr deserves the credit. I just write them. Enjoy.)

14:

**Not so drunk anymore**

"Shawn you have got to stop staring at Dave. It's creeping me out." Sky told her friend.

Dave was bending over fixing his shoe. Shawn stared at the boy's butt.

"But I have to claim it!" Shawn whined to the girl.

"Don't you think Sammy and Jasmine would find that weird?" She asked.

He waved his hand "Nah, I'm pretty sure they'll be alright." He chuckled. He could see all 4 of them together.

"If you say so Shawn." Sky said as she took a sip of her tea.

**A while later**

"Listen Shawn, you're a great guy and all but I'm not gay." Dave broke the news to the zombie teen.

"Me either! I have 2 girlfriends!" Shawn told the tan teen.

"But when you're drunk you kiss and touch me. And tell lame pick-up lines." Dave stared at the teen as if he was crazy.

"You just happen to be pretty when I'm drunk." Shawn gave him a crooked smile.

Dave rolled his eyes. "And what about Sammy and Jasmine?"

"Why does everybody ask that?! They'll be alright it with." Shawn said proudly.

**The next Day**

"No." Both girls glared and crossed their arms at him.

"But c'mon please! Just once!" Shawn begged on his knees.

"Nope."

"No way!"

"C'mon Sammy, I let you keep the dog. And Jasmine, babe, I brought you a zoo! C'mon guys please!" Shawn begged again rolling on the floor.

"Find go ahead. But make sure he's okay-" Shawn ran out before Jasmine could finish the sentence.

"That boys an idiot." Sammy said as she wrapped her arm on Jasmines waist.

"But he's our 'little' idiot." Jasmine said and the girls laughed.

**Meanwhile**

"WOOHOO GONNA GET ME SOME DAVE BOOTY! WOO!" The zombie hunter yelled as he ran to Dave's house.

15:

"Sammy Jasmine, I have something to say."

"What is it?"

"Is it bad?"

"I'm gay."

…

…

"We could tell."

"Cause ya know you try to kiss Dave."

"But I still love you guys."

"We know."

16:

"But Dave!"

'No Shawn!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"Let me kiss you just once!"

"You've done it when you're drunk!"

"I haven't when I'm sober."

…..

…..

…

…..

…..

"You taste like mangoes."

"Shut up."

18:

Anonymous inquired: When they go out to dinner everyone gives them weird/dirty looks and to fuel it Shawn just looks this people straight in the eyes then just tackles both of his girlfriends into a kiss. That or Jasmine picks her tiny lovers up and Carey's them out of the restaurant. U-U Sammy usually just curses them out in her head and flips them off under the table (aka submitted Headcanons)

"Yeah! In your faces!" Shawn heaves as he just made out with her girlfriends in front of a whole restaurant. There is red and pink lipstick all over her face and neck but he's grinning like the Easter egg man.

Jasmine fixes herself and carried out her two lovers while Shawn and Sammy flip everybody out.

"Mom that dude has the best life." A 14-year-old boy said to his mother.

"That guy is the coolest." His father grumbled to himself

19:

Anonymous inquired: Jashammy Headcanons: When they all got married, Jasmine's grandmother shot a gun in the church (in celebration, of course), Shawn's brothers supplied the alcohol (more than enough), and Sammy's relative that came just gave a big check and left. (Not mine)

**It was a nice wedding. Not the reception was different**.

"Hey Lil bro, here's a beer to marriage!" Shawn's older brother said as he shoved a beer into the now married man hand. He knows he shouldn't be drinking because it turns into, uh bad things. But ah the hell with it as he chugged the beer down. The guys cheered but a gunshot went off.

Shawn coward along with the rest of the guest (except Jasmine's family). Jasmine's Grandma Tiger has a bottle of Jack and a shotgun and in each hand. Her family clapped and cheered her on.

Shawn crawled over to his wife Sammy as Jasmine laughed at her grandmother.

"I guess you could call this a 'shotgun wedding'?" Shawn joked to his bride. Sammy slapped him upside his head.

"No more PATD for you." She grumbled. Her family or parents and siblings came and left to give her inheritance. Her younger siblings had to leave because her parents didn't approve of her relationship and well Amy wanted to see her fail.

"It's time for the first dance!" Beardo announced from the stand. Jasmine gracefully walked over to her husband and wife.

"Okay how should we do this?" Jasmine asked.

"Rock paper scissors!" Shawn exclaimed. A few of his brothers laugh at the word.

His wives gave him a glare. Knowing that look he smacked his own head.

Sammy spoke up "You two should go first, I mean it's gonna be about like 5 slow dances. And plus I want to see my lovely husband and wife dance. And I can laugh at Shawn."

"Hey!" Shawn said mocked hurt by her words. Rolling her eyes, Jasmine grabbed Shawn's hand and leads them to the dance floor.

'Winter Winds' by Mumford and Son began to play. Shawn and Jasmine began to dance.

While everybody is 'aw-wing' or laughing at their height problems, Sammy is looking at her new life.

(Uh wedding songs)

**Winter Winds by Mumford and Sons Jasmine and Shawn**

**Please let me get what I want by The Smiths Jasmine and Sammy**

**Dying by Hole Shawn and Sammy**

**Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana Jasmine Shawn Sammy**

**5 hours later**

"WOOHOO I'M MARRIED TO TWO CHICKS YEAH!" Shawn yelled as he and Jasmine danced on a table, drunk again. Sammy was shaking her head and watching the madness go down.

20:

When Shawn takes Sammy or Jasmine out people think he's cheating so they tell Sammy/Jasmine about each other.

21:

**Bar Scene**

Sammy got a call from Sugar about Jasmine and Shawn being at a bar and scaring her customers.

"Come and git your little love birds from ma bar!" Sugar roared through the phone.

Sighing, the blonde got up and headed to the car.

**25 minutes later**

Sammy ran into the bar and couldn't believe her eyes. Jasmine was on a bar table dancing while Shawn was flirting with Dave badly.

Sky was even throwing money at Jasmine and cheering her on. Shawn laid a sloppy kiss onto Dave's cheek. The tan boy shuddered and tried to get away from him but the zombie boy had a strong grip.

"You know Samey; your losers aren't half bad! Especially the zombie boy!" Amy said to her sister, drunk also.

"Oh man! Who took them to a bar!?" Sammy asked everybody around her. They all pointed to Rodney.

"But Jasmine, and she was just so- and uh they-" The large boy stammered on. She pushed the boy out of her way to get her girlfriend.

"Jasmine sweetie, we're going home!" The cheerleader helped the tall Aussie down from the table. She quickly grabbed the money and gave a look at Sky.

"I'm sorry Sammy, but they just came her an hour ago and I may or may not have not gave them some shots." Sky looked down at her converse slyly.

"I forgive if you help me get Shawn away from Dave." the girl said as Jasmine started to cry.

"Your lips are so pretty Dave! And your face! Oh man, and that butt!" Shawn put his hands on each part. Dave was panicking as the zombie boy keeps touching him.

"Shawn we are both in relationships, well whatever you call yours but-" Dave was interrupted when Shawn grabbed him by the throat.

"Jasmine and Sammy are my loves! Don't you talk about our love!" Shawn began choking the tan boy. Sky got Shawn off of Dave. Jasmine picked Shawn up and snuggled each other into their arms. Sammy said goodbye to everybody.

"I swear I'm putting a tracking device on you two." Sammy grumbled as she started the car.

"We love you Princess!" The two drunks in the back seat yelled to her.

22:

Sammy got a cold and now is sick

Jasmine and Shawn nurse her to health

(Aka Shawn worrying about his Princess getting sick from zombies and Jasmine thinks she caught some Canada flu.)

23:

**New Friends**

Zoey and Sammy make flower crowns for their boy/girlfriends

Jo and Jasmine bond over being super mega hella rad queens

Noah and Shawn laugh at Dave trying to impress Sky

(That's about it for now. Give me next week and more decent one should be coming. Hoodie Goddess and I are gonna be making some stories kids. Request rant rave share whatever. But request more Jashammy here or my Tumblr Dinyvontessa).


	3. Chapter 3

24:

Coming out to the whole cast was a big deal. Most were supportive, some could care less, and they guys thought Shawn was the man. Sierra got started on her Jashammy blog.

But Amy had to ruin it.

"Ew, look at these freaks!" Amy spat towards her sister and lovers, earshot from her. Heather looked at the trio and looked at Amy.

"I don't see anything wrong. Sure it's weird but it's them. You should like get over it." Heather said as she checked her makeup.

"You really should. If she's happy why are trying to ruin it?" Courtney asked, looking up from her PDA.

Amy was speechless, how could they side with Samey! They weren't supposed too!

"But she's not supposed to be happy! She's supposed to be a coward!" Amy pouted angrily.

"Why are you so obsessed with your sister?" Heather asked. It seems like the cheerleader would always talk about her sister all the time. It was getting to the point of Trent's number 9 obsession.

"She always gets her way!"

Courtney gave her 'Are you kidding me' look.

"So you want to date 2 people like her?" Courtney asked, confused.

"No I don't. I don't want her happy!" Amy cried to her friends.

Over yonder the trio was hanging out with their newfound friends.

"Sammy, you sister has issues." Cody whispered to her.

"I know Cody, I know." She said back as she watched her sister rant about her.

25:

Shawn and Jasmine whooped loudly at Sammy's graduation (Since Jasmine is Australian and Shawn is homeschooled) and Sky clapped on while Dave sat there, embarrassed.

"Go Princess!"

"Way to go Love!"

"Congrats Sammy!"

"Guys can you please be quiet. People are starting to stare." Dave whisperer to his friends.

Amy looked at the group and felt anger rise. Her parents were in the front row while they were in the back. A few of her friends were beside her but since Samey started to 'date' them, she couldn't mess with her.

'Stupid Samey!' Amy thought as she crossed her arms.

26:

"What's it like having 2 girlfriends?" Cody asked Shawn.

"Beautiful but scary. But they really flexible." Shawn says as he drinks his soda.

Cody caught on to what he meant and started to choke on his juice while Shawn laughs.

27:

**Road trip**

They decide to take road trip with Dave, Sky, Duncan, Cody, Noah and LaShawna.

9 people in a RV for a week. All types of fun.

"Duncan dude, you're driving like a drunken biker!" Shawn yelled as he clutched his seat.

"Oi mate, we wanna get there alive!" Jasmine yelled as she held onto Sammy.

"Shut your traps, if SOMEONE didn't take LONG we could have been there by now!" Duncan replied angrily, referring to his girlfriend.

"Well excuse me for wanting to be prepared!" Lashawna yelled from the bathroom.

"Guys c'mon, there's a rest stop over there. Let's set up for tonight and continue tomorrow." Dave spoke up, wanting to stop the fighting. Duncan sighed.

"Fine. Whatever Germ-Boy." He said and turned to the rest stop. Everybody got out and stretched their legs and stuff and got whatever they needed.

28:

"Mom, Dad, I'm moving in with Jasmine and Shawn." Sammy told her parents.

Her mom was shocked, she dropped her magazine. Her father was shocked but he expected this. After the years Amy has been treating her, it was time.

Plus her boyfriend won one million dollars and he knew she would be safe with the tall girl.

"About time! I can finally have another closet!" Amy cheered.

"But Samey, why do you want to leave?" Her mom asked densely.

"You called me Samey since Amy started to say it. Dad is the only one who treats me well!" Sammy yelled at her mother.

"Don't yell at me! I am your mother!"

"SINCE WHEN?!"

The two blondes were intensely staring each other down. Amy had went upstairs long ago to move her stuff.

"Alright calm down you two. Sammy you can go as you please, just be safe." He said as her hugged her tight. He let go and walked over to his wife.

"And she is right. It's time for her to move on." And with that he went to the garage.

Just then, Jasmine and Shawn came downstairs carrying Sammy's stuff.

Sammy grabbed her coat, and walked her lovers to the door.

She turned back around and saw her mother's face.

"I'm leaving mom, and I won't be coming back here." She said and slammed the door.

(Inspired from Johnny Cash)

29:

(I only came up with 4 and I'm upset)

Shawn, Duncan, Jo, Gwen, and Trent formed a punk band called 'The Outcast Infernos'. Duncan on bass, Gwen on drums, Jo on rhythm guitar, Shawn singing lead, and Trent playing guitar and backing vocals. They played and played until they had a gig at some club called "Bando-Namo".

The band was dress in their best punk gear (basically Gwen and Duncan in their outfits while Jo went for some black pants and ripped shirt, Shawn with his white beater and black pants, and Trent in a black shirt with their bands name on it, and his regular pants).

They started to set up before they went on. 20 minutes later, they're about to perform.

"Hey Canada are you ready to rock!" Shawn yelled to the crowd. 'That's so cliqued man!' Duncan yelled at his bandmate, laughing at him. Shawn smiled and flipped him off.

"1, 2, 3, 4 go!" Gwen screamed as Duncan let a powerful baseline. Jo and Trent strummed hard on their guitars and Shawn to spew the rage from inside.

"Well I got this inner rage! Kinda makes me go insane! Ohhhhh, I feel it at once and it starts to break! Doubling crazies, money in her bank!" Shawn belted out to the crowd.

Jasmine has Sammy on her shoulders to see them perform. She didn't know much about punk music but it sounded good. Sammy only listened to pop because of Amy but she used to sneak off and listen to rock music before.

"And I think she loves me, swear she loves, pray she loves me, HOPE SHE LOVES ME!" Shawn yelled as he looked over to Jasmine and Sammy. The band began to play a softer sound.

"And if she doesn't love me, it's okay. I'll move on about my day, if I don't have any money left, I left my heart in your chest." Shawn sung softly into the mike. The band was finished with their set and the crowd cheered and threw some flowers at them.

The girls jumped onstage and hugged Shawn. Jasmine lifted her 2 little loves on her shoulders and the crowd cheered and laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shawn! Have you seen my uniform?" Sammy yelled from their room. Shawn, playing with their dog, Truffles, looks around for her red uniform.

"Uh nope Sam but can you iron my pants? I need it for tomorrow with _Dave._" Shawn said dreamily from mentioning Dave. Sammy sighed "Sure Shawn."

Something about the germaphobe made the zombie boys heart tingle inside. Him and his sharp claws, wait claws? Shawn looked at down and Truffles wanted to get his attention.

He heard some keys outside the door. The door opened as Jasmine carried bags of food with Sky trailing after her. Shawn went over to help, kissing Jasmine and hugging Sky.

"Aw sweet you got Hot Pockets! And not the nasty ones Sammy gets, but the pizza ones!" Shawn grabbed the boxes and holding them against his chest.

"You are really weird Shawn." Sky added as she put up the cereal bars and snacks. Jasmine giggled and patted the pouting boy's head. The trio chatted and put up the food supplies until Sammy came out of the room in her uniform. "Hey you found it." Shawn stated.

"Thanks Shawn for pointing out the obvious!" Sammy snapped at the boy. Jasmine did a double-take at the blonde girl. 'Is this-?' Jasmine thought.

"Sam, are you alright?" Shawn tried to comfort her, only getting a shove and a slam of a door Dave was coming in. Startled by the cheerleader's sudden attitude, he looked over to his friends. They all looked so confused except for Jasmine.

"Oh man. It is that 'time' guys. Maybe we shouldn't have invited people over." Jasmine mention to them. Shawn grimaced at her words, knowing she's right. The door open once again, appearing; Noah, Cody, Izzy, Owen, Ella, Jo, Brick, Trent and Duncan.

"Dave!" Shawn shouted in a loving voice, jumping into the tan teen arms. Duncan and Jo snickered at the display while Dave blushed and tried to get Shawn off him.

"It's nice to have to have the gang all over, except that your girl is on a rampage." Duncan said nonchalantly as he grabbed a few sodas from the fridge.

Jo facepalmed, muttering to herself: "Why do I hang out with these people?" Brick rubbed her back as he silently laughed at the chaos going around. Sky, Trent, Jasmine, and Owen playing Candyland (Owen tried to eat the pieces), Izzy laughing at Shawn's attempts, Noah and Cody sat on the couches, closely to each other as they talked about the next season and Ella and Duncan were playing Rock Hero.

Ah yes, the tale of random and friendship.


End file.
